Well, the Summer Solstice has come and gone, with no great surprises. Despite, or perhaps because of, a considerable police presence, in the form of Constable Paddy MacGillicuddie, formerly of the RUC but now with the Royal Cheshire Mounted Police (RCMP, Motto ‘We always get our person’) (Yet another example of Political Correctness gone wild).
Constable MacGillicuddie, a splendid example of a British Bobby, standing 6ft 3in in his size 14 Bobby boots and Bobby helmet, but actually 5ft 6 3/4in without them, reported that he had made no arrests.
He did however sight ‘a bevy’ of naked women skipping through the bogs and gave chase, but lost them as he became bogged down and sank into the bog, up to his strategically positioned, police issue truncheon. It should be mentioned here that the Constable was only attired in the aforementioned boots and helmet in order to blend in with the expected crowd of revellers.
When questioned about how many women constitute ‘a bevy’, he admitted that he was unsure because he had his whistle in one hand and was holding his truncheon strategically with the other, thus rendering him unable to count them all, but stated categorically that there were more than two.
Senior Detective Sergeant Mullet of The Police Association (Well known for his cameo appearance on ‘Dixon of Dock Green’ solemnly intoning “ ‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello, there’s something fishy going on ‘ere”) has subsequently stated that he will not have his members exposed to that kind of thing in future.
He has since released funds from the Association’s ‘Slush Fund’ to provide knitting needles and wool to Gladys MacPlebian and the spinsters, along with the ‘Vital Statistics’ of Constable MacGillicuddie and asked them to knit a ‘Willy-Warmer’ for future events.
When she saw the ‘statistics’ Phyllis Arkwright gigglingly suggested that the Sen Det Seg’t had failed to take into account the ‘Wind Chill’ effect on the high moors and that perhaps a Man City Blue would be a better colour co-ordination. Mullet told her “Shut your gob! and start knitting, or else!”. Constable Paddy quietly informed her, that Mullet was a ‘dyed in the wool’ Man U supporter and to use the red and white skeins.
Cheers for now. until the Autumn Equinox.
SkyBlueSkull.
http://keith-skellern.blogspot.com
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