Over here in the Antipodes, I’ve lived for more than 37 years of my 60 years on this mortal coil, but I’m still considered to be a ‘Whingeing Pommy Bastard’.This basically means that I am considered to be a bit of an outsider, I’m neither an Aussie or really a ‘Pom’, so I have the best, or worst of both worlds, I choose to think the best. With the Olympics, I am glad to see that the UK is now represented by all four countries. I don’t know what the Mick’s, Taff’s and Pict’s think about it, but I’m all for it. I reckon it’s a great idea.
My adopted country, for some reason seems to think that Australia and the UK have to compete, especially when it comes down to sports. I have to say here that I don’t know many Poms here in Melbourne. We appear to be very few on the ground. Perhaps, I’m mixing with the wrong crowd.
When I ‘worked’ in the Tax Office, I often thought that I was the ‘Token Pom’, taken on just to prove that there was no discrimination. There again most Poms wouldn’t be seen dead working in a Tax Office anywhere. Me included, which is why I spent most of my time there in a semi-comatose state, I fitted in well.
To get back to the Olympics in particular and sport in general, the Skips love to beat the Kiwis (and vice versa) and the South Africans, but there is nothing they like better than sticking it up the Poms. I guess this has it’s roots in history. They did after all send all their thieving ratbags over here, when the rotting prison hulks were sinking into the Thames, so what do they expect? Gratitude?
To make up for this, they love to point out that they got the better part of the deal, golden beaches, hot summers and cold beer and why not throw another prawn on the barbie? To be honest here, I’ve never actually seen anybody throw, or even carefully place a prawn on a barbie and even if they did I wouldn’t eat it, I don’t like the little shit-eating critters.
Back to the Olympics once more, now Beijing is over and done with, we are looking at the 2012 games in London. This has caused a little concern over here in the Antipodes and the bad press has started already, below is a ‘tongue in cheek?’ review from my most un-favourite newspaper.
CAN BRITS LIFT IN TIME?
“So you thought Beijing was going to be bad, we worried about the smog, the police, the food. Every concern under the sun was aired and most of it turned out to be without foundation.
But now a secret dossier has been uncovered, which reveals the threats that London will pose in 2012 to the health and wellbeing of the crowds likely to descend on the City.
FOOD
You can get every cuisine under the sun in London, each with one universal quality - it has no quality.
From Thai to Indian, Chinese to Pub Grub, it won’t make you ill as such, just sad.
TAXIS
Not one taxi driver in Beijing speaks any English, and after a week in London you’ll dream of those halcyon days as yet another cabbie tells you why national service should be reintroduced, it’s never been the same since Mrs Thatcher left and hanging’s too good for them. Almost enough to make you take the Tube. Almost.
THE AIR
The air of despondency that is. Beijing’s army of volunteers, all happy to help and pleased to see you, will be supplanted by a city of people who won’t give you the time of day as they wallow in their own misery.
INFRASTRUCTURE
It took a totalitarian Government with absolute control to to impose on Beijing the necessary building works and venue construction.
By contrast, as if London’s planning laws were not bureaucratic enough, the mayor whose dream it was to host the Olympics and regenerate East London has just been replaced by a bumbling toff, whose pre-occupation is cracking jokes and riding his bike.
BEER
Not just served warm but also fermenting and guaranteed to be alive and kicking inside you the following day.
English “real ale” is barrel conditioned; ie, it’s an ongoing process, so you’ll never be sure of the quality of what you’re drinking until the first mouthful.”
So there you have it my friends, an unbiased Australian preview of the games in four years time.
Cheers for now,
SkyBlueSkull
http://keith-skellern.blogspot.com
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