I rambled lonely as a fart, in a host of golden dandelions

I should possibly have posted this as my first post to explain why I chose 'Skull's Ramblings', but who cares? People can dip in and out of this site in whatever way takes their fancy. Not that anybody has dipped anyway, how does anyone attract a dipper? A bit of controversy is needed here! I'm working on it!!


RAMBLING IN GENERAL


I was lying in bed this morning and my thoughts started rambling about rambling in general. Of course there are two types of rambling, mental and physical. I like them both but living where I do, physical rambling is a bit difficult, it is possible to ramble in a town or city, but most people are striding forth resolutely in an attempt to get from a) to b) in as short a time as possible, without breaking into a trot and find ramblers or strollers a distinct pain in the rectum.


I am also led to believe that in cities such as Paris and New York, if you don’t keep your eyes on the footpath you’re likely to end up ankle deep in dog shit. So physical rambling should ideally be confined to rural areas.


You can wander along, preferably with a copse of oak trees on one side and a host of golden daffodils on the other, with a gurgling stream running alongside your chosen path. If these are not available locally, a solitary gum tree and a host of yellowish dandelions or saffron coloured rape will suffice.


The ideal companion for a ramble is of course a dog, (if you’re accompanied by a beautiful, nubile young female, or a handsome, young Adonis, depending on your sexual proclivities. Let’s face it, you’re not out for a ramble, much more likely a grope in the rape).


Let’s stick to dogs, this is a ‘G’ rated ramble. I read somewhere that a dog uses it’s nose in much the same way as we use our eyes, about 80% of their perception of the outside world is through the old snot box. I guess a dog with hay fever would be up shit creek, as a blind human you can use a white stick or a ‘seeing eye’ dog. What would a sinus deficient dog use? a sniffing nose cat?


The other thing about rambling with dogs is that you should never try to emulate them. If you go around sniffing people’s crotches and whipping out your willy from your Y-fronts and cocking your leg up against trees, you could find yourself in serious strife with the local constabulary.


Enough of physical rambling, this was supposed to be a serious dissertation on mental rambling. As I keep on saying, most of my mental rambling occurs between 1:00am and 4:00am, when normal people are sleeping like babies.


I go to bed at 9:00pm when most people are watching the idiot box and wake up four hours later, and my mind starts racing. I have to tell you that my brain is a phenomenal piece of biological engineering.


There was a popular theory a few years ago, which stated that people only use about 10% of their cranial capacity, because if they used the full 100% it would be frightening. I have to agree with this, because having glimpsed my own brain’s full capacity, it is so frightening that I have decided to keep 95% of it under wraps.


Even so, the remaining 5% is four times as strong as your normal hoi polloi’s brain and when it starts racing it is awesome. This means that I have to keep it in first gear most of the time, this results in me producing what you are perusing right now. A load of old cobblers some unkind people might say.

Well, my muse has departed right now and my brain has gone into neutral, but don’t despair, this is only a temporary aberration, it’s still ticking over like a well oiled Rolls Royce engine, it’s just bereft of thoughts right now.


Listening to the soothing sounds of Carole King’s ‘Tapestry’ Album can do that to you. So I shall return to the lively jigs, reels and bawdy lyrics of my favourite group ‘The Dubliners’. The only trouble with that is that my jigging, reeling and cavorting interferes with my two finger typing and annoys the bejasus out of the neighbours and my feathered companions.

Cheers for now,

SkyBlueSkull.

http://keith-skellern.blogspot.com