More about dogs
I’ve just been to the pet shop attached to my Vet’s place. I went there because I’m getting a tad pissed off with my 6 month old Border Collie dragging me around the streets and parks of Sunshine. It hasn’t really been the arm wrenching tugs, where the little bastard has either taken off at high speed, or dug his heels in to smell something interesting, when I am still being propelled forward.
Nah! What has really been giving me the screaming irrits, is his habit of running between my legs and then ‘playfully’ grabbing the leash (not my personal dangly ‘leash’, I hasten to add.) with his teeth and then performing gym-nasties, leaping hither and yon, with tail and legs akimbo, whilst running back and fro between my own unsteady pins.
The guy at the pet shop was aghast, when I suggested getting a metal leash. No! he said “What you need is a leather leash, and to discourage the little bastard from biting it, rub in ‘Deep Heat’ (which is an ointment used to relieve rheumatic pains and stinks worse than a strapping Jock’s, jockstrap). No self-respecting dog will bite on that, he said.
Whilst I was there with the dog and my son, he also showed us a ‘Clicker”, the idea behind this little doodad, is that you ‘Click’ and give the canine a treat, like half a sheep. The mutt will then associate ‘Clicking’ with large portions of cooked ovines.
He also showed us a ‘Treat-Ball’, this is a rather nifty idea, where you stick dry dog food (It wouldn’t work with corn flakes, so don’t buy one for your kid’s, although it could work with ‘Rice Krispies’, don’t tell anybody I told you!).
With this little sod, you poke ‘kibble’ in through a hole in the ball and then make the hole smaller and give it to the pooch. The hound then chases it around for hours on end, snaffling up dry crap, as it dribbles out.
Here’s a little ditty that I came across on the LiveIreland website, which is well worth a visit.
THE DOG’S ARSEHOLES
The dogs they had a party
they came from near and far
and some dogs came by aeroplane
and some by motorcar
They went into the lobby
and signed the visitors book
and each dog hung his arsehole
upon a separate hook
One dog was not invited
and this aroused his ire
he went into the lobby and loudly shouted “FIRE!!!”
The dogs got so excited,
they had no time to look
and each one took an arsehole
from the nearest hook
Now, its a sad, sad story
for it is very sore
to wear another ones arsehole
that you’ve never worn before
So this is why when dogs meet
by land or sea or foam
each sniffs the other ones arsehole,
in hope it is his own...
written by Matt McGinn of Glasgow.
I shall leave you with that thought.
Cheers for now,
SkyBlueSkull
